Just imagine…what the human condition might be, if we knew the TRUE enemy and chose to face it on a daily basis, instead of our unassuming and unsuspecting substitute casualties…

What if we woke up every morning, looked ourselves in the mirror, and called out those things which cause us pain, hurt, disappointment, self-loathing, and all of the negative repressed emotions that we feel, instead of channeling them elsewhere to just survive?

What if we knew/understood that we wrestle not with flesh but light and darkness in high places?

Just think, what a world this could be…

Imagine a world where we could do more than survive but thrive as individuals in a collective, as one respecting each other.

When life happens and the storm rages, instead of lashing out, justifying, or denying any potential part in error we may have played, we recognize the demons, the injury or trauma, within and give space for grace to others.

Instead of hiding or burying pains so deep, we just deal with them in acceptance, truth, transparency with faith, hope, and love. What a healthy and happy place that would be.

I know, I know…a bit fanciful BUT possible.

Each one of us, for ourselves, must live and master our lessons to be learned so that we may be and live whole from the inside out in mind, body, and soul.

Some may still contend “Why dig up the past?” Because it’s unresolved, and therefore NOT the past. It’s the source of your open wounds and the scars that you’ve been in denial about or wondering where they came from. Face your enemy. Where will you find it? Revisiting your “past”.

Yes, of course, that crap hurts! But the longer you leave the poison inside, it will fester and snuff out your soul. Think about it…the short-term hurt and healing is better than a lifetime of dysfunction and regret.

Seeking to truly know yourself allows you to recognize, overcome, and defeat the demons within. Your power (i.e., mental and emotional control) comes from knowing what makes you tick; what sets you off, why; what gives you life, how; what snuffs out your soul, and how to prevent that from happening.

The lesson to be learned here? Deal with the parts to be whole.

Here’s what worked for me to reclaim my identity and defeat the demons within:

1. Don’t hide behind others, a job, title, or things; distractions keep us in denial.
2. Be honest with yourself; realize you have hurts and it’s okay (you are human).
3. Be willing and unafraid to be alone for as long as it takes; you need time with yourself for truth and transparency.
4. Let your spirit speak; it’s your conscious intuition, your “soul speak”.
5. Make healthy changes one at a time, one day at a time; it’s never too late to pivot.

When you are dealing with several hurts, you might ask, “where do I even start?” Start from birth. Identify that first painful memory that you recall and go from there.

My earliest trauma was so deep that I had almost completely erased it from my memory, until flashes began to resurface during the writing of my autobiographical love letter to society, Love the Skin YOU’RE In: How to Conquer Life Through Divergent Thinking. I found myself numerous times with tears falling on the pages of my notebook or splattering on the keyboard, as I put my pain into words. What I did not expect was the freedom, healing, and empowerment that came along with facing those demons.

If you’re still wondering “how do you know when/if you have an enemy to face within?” you probably do. Identify your cycles of insanity. What patterns do you keep reliving over again expecting a different result?

One of my biggest demons was rooted in daddy issues and the desperate search to find protection, self-love, and happiness in the opposite sex. What I didn’t realize was from whom or what did I feel the need for protection or fear abandonment.

See, early life experiences shattered my fragile little soul when it came to the male counterpart and I truly did not understand or start to heal from the who/what/why until I met my husband. Not only was I able to break cycles of insanity with speaking and hearing me speak my truth, but also validated in my soul. It was as if I could literally feel wounds healing and the scars fading. Once I finally gave myself grace, I was able to forgive and live.

Folks, we incorrectly think it’s a weakness to admit our frailties. Perhaps it’s what you’ve been taught either by parents, school, or society. Have you also realized this same messaging is what births bullies and drives those in desperation to take the lives of others and their own?

Facing yourself and dealing with hurt in a healthy way is a choice. Is it time to choose you and reflect on the patterns affecting your heart health? Is it time for a pulse check?

We often think we are healthy when we are not and make every excuse in the book to keep us in our comfort zone where we feel protected and falsely believe sanity resides. There is no condemnation; I thought this too. Now, I know better and do better.

Life is not about wearing masks, hiding, or people-pleasing. Speaking your truth and setting yourself free is real. Don’t allow your demons to be your stumbling blocks. Just breathe…then, consciously start defining your path. Heal, rebuild, and transform! xo